Ego and Enthusiasm, Creating Rapport 5 of 7

Imagine you arrive at your business appointment ready to complete a transaction when suddenly your appointment comes bouncing in dressed in a cheerleader outfit.  Mismatch would be an understatement describing the difference in energy and expectations at that moment.  Although this is an extreme, the truth is we are often not conscious of the disparity between our prospects, customers and team member’s signals, and our own.  Considering three important “E’s” can go a long way in creating a solid sense of rapport. They are: ego, enthusiasm, and edification

Often as we engage in conversation we do not fully listen and give attention to the other.  Instead we are busy formulating what we are going to say next.  The ego gets involved and our tendency is to tell an even bigger and better version of the story we are hearing.  Practice the art of listening and forego your need to share your story.  People are amazed when I tell them it is not uncommon for me to spend 45 minutes of a one hour appointment asking questions and listening.  The result is amazing rapport and a 90%+ closing ratio of getting the sale!  Ego is the greatest enemy of building rapport or relationships.  Decide today to increase your skills in listening and being curious about the other.  Because so few practice this, it will distinguish you.

As you ask questions and listen attentively pay attention not only to the details of the content but also of their person.  For Example, what is their energy level like?  There is nothing more annoying to a person who is exhausted, feeling down and lacking energy that someone rolling over them with unbridled enthusiasm!  On the other hand if a person is speaking rapidly and bouncing with energy it will feel like an energy drain if the other person drones on slowly with minimal energy.  Work towards matching their rate, volume and tonality of their speech.  The saying, “People like people like themselves” holds true when it comes to matching energy levels and vocal qualities.

In the next post I will talk about the “king” of the “3 E’s”  edification.

NOTE:  Discover YOUR unique brain energy advantage with the Benziger Thinking Styles Assessment (BTSA) offered at  Also: attend one of Brenda’s powerful “Create Instant Rapport” Workshops!  Check out to find one near you.

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